


I´m Not A Bitch

by Caspertobyscott



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom
Genre: College, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Las Vegas, M/M, Marriage, Smoking, Stitchs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 10:10:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15638604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caspertobyscott/pseuds/Caspertobyscott
Summary: A few hours later we were going to a museum about vegas.It´s was something else really fascinating to hear about vegas i love learning new things about places i visiting, it did made my day from the morning he had with Louis.When we got back to the hotel after only to hours we got the rest of the day of do whatever we wants beside trouble of course.Louis ask me out for a drink, i guess to make up for the morning we had, i said yes,





	I´m Not A Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> the story is a bit dark but still good and i hope you like it :)

After he were done with high school or as he call´s it the hell hole.  
He look´s forward to college witch is in the uk he wanted to get as far away from the us as possibly away from his psycho family.  
So yeah he see himself as a guy without a family or anything like that when it comes down to it.  
He got treated like he is some kind of bastard witch he weren´t but what the hell they could treated him as they please he didn´t give a damn anyway.  
When he began at college he felt good, when he began a new place and a new life.  
The first year there were great he got a room for himself and he loved it, the second year he was told that he were going to share an a apartment with three other guys witch he didn´t mind he was just going to stik to himself like always.  
It didn´t go as he hoped it would there is to bedroom´s so he is going to share it with a guy he dosen´t know or probably dosen´t want to know.  
After what happen to him he do not trust anyone nor share his things, you can still see the marks on his neck and throat and yes many had asked and some just looked but he´s like mind your own damn business.  
When he moved in, there were no one else so he just took a room and unpacked his stuff.  
When he was done unpacking he took his iphone and his headphones and turn up the music, he felt like hearing don´t be a girl about by Kelly Clarkson there after her album stronger it´s one of his favorite.

He didn´t even hear or see a brown hair guy come in before a second later.  
The guy just looked at me while i hear my music, i don´t know him but i have seen him around many times with his friends.  
I took my hearphones out.

Hi i´m Louis your new roomie, he smile.  
Harry, i said.  
Nice to meet you what are you listening to.  
Ohh hmm Kelly Clarkson.  
She awesome.  
I just shake my shoulder in agreement.  
You okay, he asks as he put down a box.  
Yeah.  
Okay you just don´t seem to be.  
I´m just not the talking type that´s all, i said.  
Okay cool then i´ll just leave you alone.  
Thanks.

A bit later the day we got a latter from college and Louis called after me.  
i walked into the livingroom.  
What.  
We got a latter from college.  
What dose it say Lou, a blond haired guy asks.  
I´ll tell you Niall, Louis says as he open the latter.

To all students, college is going on a trip next months and all students are going and it´s payed your shareing a room with your roommats here, college are going to las vegas till then your principal.  
Cool las vegas that´s so awesome, a brown hair guy said.  
Hell yeah Liam it is, Niall says loud.  
So you and Liam are shareing a room like Harry and me.  
I walked into my room again and let them have their fun and i have mine with ncis.  
I´m not sure how i feel about las vegas, he just don´t want to think about it so he just saw ncis while have a smok, he´s not sure if Louis smors so he open the window.  
Some hours later Louis came in.  
Harry do you want to eat dinner with us.  
No thanks i´m good.  
Okay have a nice evening then, he said as he closed the door.  
I am hungry but i eat alone.

I went down to a gril to buy a burger and some fries.  
Then went home again to eat while watching Rupaul´s drag race on my computer.

Later that evening Louis came in as i saw Rupaul´s drag race and had a smok.  
What are you watching there.  
Rupaul´s drag race.  
Okay never hard about it what´s it about.  
God all this questions he thinks.  
It´s about drag queens.  
Okay do you have a smok i ran out.  
I took one and gave it to him.  
Thanks your a lifesaver Harry.  
I just nodded and then i turn off the show and found ncis insted.  
Then i saw him look at my throat.  
why are you looking at my throat.  
what happen it dosen´t look to good.  
Nothing at all.  
I don´t believe that something happen, Louis said.  
Believe what you want i don´t care.

Then he took off his clothes and lay down and we both watch ncis together, i was like finally he shut up.

It´s been a few days and Louis Niall and Liam hurry found out i don´t want to talk or hang out i´m a loner, i don´t do friends or date, but i can tell they really want to be friends with me especially Louis i think he has something for me but i´m not sure.  
The three of them also talks about the trip to las vegas and what they want to do there, when it comes to me i´ll pretty much just be in the room.

The trip the hole college has talked about is here, it´s been the longest month of his life harding people saying i want to do that and i want to do this, i´m like lets get this trip over with already so people would get a life again.  
Many of the girls here also ask me out but why that´s something i would never understand because like i said i don´t do friends or dates, many of the guys here also says i´m gay because i didn´t say yes to a date from one of the girls, well screw it i do me not do me, i´m me and i´m good with that.  
Louis also gave me the smok back i gave him back then but i said don´t think about it, it´s fine.  
The teachers also told us all it´s okay to drink a bit just don´t get drunk.

Are you looking forward for las vegas, Louis asks me as we packed.  
Not really i would rether be here, i said.  
Why are you always so boring.  
Listen okay Louis i don´t do friends or dates okay i do what i want when i want to nothing more or less.  
Okay jesus come down.  
Whatever you and your friends can have a blast and i´ll have my own fun.  
Ohh i will it´s vegas a would of fun.  
Whatever make you sleep a night, I said.  
I put my hair up in a ponytale, Then i saw Louis looking at my neck.  
What are you looking at.  
Those marks are also on your neck.  
I know but thanks for telling me, i roll my eyes.  
What in the world happen to you it´s not normally to have marks on the throat and neck, Louis says worryed.  
Really okay well it is to me so just leave it.

When we finsh packing we meet up with they other students and the teachters, everyone is looking at my throat and neck.  
i don´t hide it insted i ware it, it made me who i am today or the son of a bitch who gave me them made me who i am now, normally they should have been gone now but i stitched it so it would never disappear.  
It´s not like i´m afraid of love or anything like that when i meet the right one i´ll tell what happen to me, till then nothing.

The bus drove to the airport went fine i head my music while everyone else are talking.  
Seens i can´t hear music on the flight i took a book with me.  
I am going to sit next to Louis and Niall on the flight.  
We all got on the flight i sat by the window so Louis and Niall could talk and i could be alone with my book.

The filght was only 9 hours and 40 minutes long.  
After another bus drive we were at the hotel, we got our keys to our room´s.  
Louis and i got to our room, i just hope there it´s to beds, when we got in i saw there is only one a double bed to me it sucks but right now i just want to get some shut eye, i´m really tried i just hope Louis stay on his side of the bed and dosen´t cuddle into me doing the night.

A few hours later i woke up and went into the bathroom to look at my throat and neck my stitches are to nice again lucky he had packed needle and thread yeah i stitch myself sue me.  
he went onto his suitcase to get his sewing kid and then out to the bathroom again.  
He thread the needle and began to sew himself again he don´t want his old stitches to get to ugly so he sew some new once onto the ols once, yeah it hurts a bit but he´s use to it now.  
What the shit Harry what the hell are you doing, Louis says loud in the doorway.  
What dose it look like i´m doing and are you always going in when the door is closed.  
Not always and why the hell are you sewing yourself.  
Louis just screw okay i know what i´m doing okay i´m not stypid.  
You may as well be seens your stitches yourself, Louis said as he tryed to take it away from me.  
Get the hell of me Louis.  
No i´m not staning by to watch my friend hurt himslf god damn.  
Friend okay first of all we are not friends and secondly it dosen´t really hurt anymore.  
How long have you been sewing yourself and i may not be your friend but your my friend okay deal with it.  
it´s isn´t any of your business okay just screw already and let me finsh in peace damn it.  
Louis took the scissors and cut the thread and then he took the needle.  
Give me my needle back now Louis.  
Not even in another life time Harry i won´t let you hurt yourself.  
He watch Louis walk out again with the needle.  
lucky he has another one so he took that one and finsh up.  
I went into my suitcase again to put my sewing kid back and get some clothes then he took a shower.  
No it didn´t bleed, it did in the beginning but not anymore.

He went down to the buffet to get some breakfast.  
When i got there he went over to get some foot, after i did i walked over to a table, i walk past Louis´s table as i hear him say needle and that was it who the hell dose he think he is.  
Louis who the hell do you think you are what i do and why is my business not your or anyone else´s get it.  
I think i help my friend out that´s what.  
Louis sweet sweet Louis for the last time we are not friend or anything there comes close leave me alone god damn it.  
I walked over to an emptied table sat down and eat my food.  
Some of they other students did look at my throat and saw the new stitches.

A few hours later we were going to a museum about vegas.  
It´s was something else really fascinating to hear about vegas i love learning new things about places i visiting, it did made my day from the morning he had with Louis.

When we got back to the hotel after only to hours we got the rest of the day of do whatever we wants beside trouble of course.  
Louis ask me out for a drink, i guess to make up for the morning we had, i said yes,

We got to the bar in the hotel he bought a beer for us.  
We sat down at a table and had a smok.  
Look Harry i´m sorry for this morning it just makes me sad to see someone hurts themself that´s all.  
Louis i don´t hurt myself and it´s okay lets just forget it.  
We drank to that.  
If you don´t hurt yourself then what was the sewing about.  
He has a feeline if he don´t give Louis something he won´t stop asking.  
When i were 16 i had a friend home with me other then he wasen´t just a friend we dated a bit, we were in my room sitting on the bed kissing a bit.  
Then what, he asks.  
Then my parents and sister got home and they came into my room tell me their are home, then my farther told him to leace before he kicked him out and he lift then he took me and said only sick people are into their own gerder, then he began to strangle me my mother and sister didn´t do anything to stop him, i could feel my body began to shut down then i saw the lamp on my nightstand i took it and slam him in his head with it then i ran out.  
Son of a bitch but that dosen´t answer why you sew yourself.  
Yeah he is and when i ran out i didn´t stop and i couldn´t breathe either all i had on me was my iphone wallet and sewing kid, i couldn´t talk for weeks so i learn to just stay quiet mind my own business, when the marks began to go away so i sewed them so they would´n go away, it´s my way to tell myself never go back there he did this to you his own son.  
He treated me like i was a bastard or something like that, always looked down on me and made me feel like i shut never have been born or some shit like that.  
Wow you have been through so much but where did you live then and what about your boyfriend, Louis asks me he has so much worry in his eyes.  
My old high school i knew no one would look for me there and we never talk after that.  
Harry i´m sure i know the answer but i´m asking anyway would you like to go to a party with me Niall and Liam you need friends we all do.  
Yeah i´ll like that just one more thing if you ever see me sew myself don´t you dare try to stop me.  
I won´t now that i know why you do but dosen´t it hurt.  
No not anymore i have done it for years now and i can´t feel anything around my neck and throat ohh and don´t talk about it to anyone it´s no one business but mine.  
Louis nodded he understand.

We finshed our beer and it felt kind of good to share it with someone else and then i went to a shop to buy something i really want to try.  
Then i went to the room to do it and be a bit alone.

Later that day after they eat dinner he did sit by himself, but went out with Niall Liam and Louis.  
We don´t have classes tomorrow so we just had a party.  
I like your new hair color it suit you.  
Thank you Louis i just felt like trying something new so red hair.  
Yeah rose red and it´s beautiful you are beautiful.  
You are drunk.  
Yes i am and happy so happy i could kiss you darline.  
Please don´t.  
Then drink so more then i can kiss you.  
I just shake my head as i took a sip of my drink.

Niall and Liam seen to be really into eachother if not there is something wrong because they are kissing a bit.  
You see them that could be us love.  
Your not kissing material Louis.  
Then what kind of material am i then, he smile.  
I don´t know.  
Boyfriend or husband material babe.  
My god why don´t you go and try to kiss someone else.  
I don´t want to i want to kiss you darline.

I felt the need to get drunk while listening to Louis ask over and over let me kiss you.  
Hours later still at the party.  
Love i want you to meet my patents.  
Now why would i do that.  
Because i love you and i want them to meet the one i love to meet my boyfriend that´s why.  
Okay so now we are boyfriends we haven´t kissed yet, i says he just decided to let Louis be Louis even if he is drunk but he´s still a good guy.  
Then kiss me darline lets make it officially.  
I´m not sure if i shut.  
What do you want me to do, Louis asks really drunk.  
Nothing Louis lets just have fun.  
He wants to have fun then lets get married baby.  
What are you mad.  
No come on the night is young just like us lets live darling lets be free lets get married, Louis smile wild.  
Fine lets live.  
I never thought i would say that but what the hell he´s right lets live lets have fun.

The next day

i woke up with big hangover god how drunk was he then he could feel his own dick and a burn from his booty, he moved the covers away and they are both naked ohh no did they had sex, of course they did else his booty woulde´n burn like that.  
Louis wake up, I says loud.  
What what is it.  
We are naked we had sex.  
What no ohh damn it.  
Why are you swearing.  
Because i was a virgin and i wanted to wait till i got married.  
Welcome to the club i was a virgin to.  
Really i´m sorry.  
Yeah me to and do you remember anything from last night.  
I remember being really drunk you.  
Me to i don´t really remember much else.

Then he saw his hand.  
Louis you said you wanted to wait till you got married.  
Yeah so.  
We are married Louis look at your finger.  
What the hell, he said as he saw his finger.  
He took a piece of paper.  
Louis listen to this, I said.

I´m happy to pronounce you mr and mr Tomlinson.  
Great my name isn´t Styles anymore.  
Easy Harry I´m sure we can do something about it.  
I hope so i´m only 19 i´m way to young to be married.  
Hey i´m also to young i´m only 20 okay.  
It´s almost breakfast time i´ll go and take a look at my stitches.  
Okay.  
You just go down i´ll be down in a matter of minutes.  
Naa it´s fine i´ll wait till your done.  
Okay.

He had a look at my stitches and they look fine.  
Then he went back to see Louis fullly dressed.  
Say when your ready.  
Let me please get some clothe on.  
Why you have a killer body.  
Thanks but i´m not going down naked.  
Juat saying you shut that dick would mede people drool.  
Just like you, I said as i put some clothe on.  
Yeah like that.  
Your not to bad yourself over there.  
Thanks but i´m not going down naked.  
I just nodded with a smirk.

We got down to they others.  
Here are mr and mr Tomlinson.  
Not funny Niall cut it out.  
Why you said last night that Liam and i had to be there when you and the love of your life got married.  
What did he say that, I asks.  
Yeah and you are the best there has ever happen to him.  
Liam shut up i was drunk.  
You know Lou booze only make you speak the naked truth, Niall says.  
Oh my god.  
What if you really love Haz there is nothing wrong with that.  
Do you love me Louis and where dose this Haz thing comes from.  
I like you very much but i´m not sure if i love you.  
To answer you Haz Lou called you that after you both said i do, Liam told.  
God i can´t believe they let people get married when they are drunk.  
Harry most people here are drunk when they get married.  
Holy crap what the hell are we going to do.  
Don´t ask me i don´t know, I said to Louis.  
We are so screwed.  
Louis you can get a divorce it´s that easy.  
Ohh if it´s that easy Niall why don´t you get married and then get one.  
I would if someone would ask me.  
Niall will you marry me and then get an divorce, Liam smirked.  
Ohh Liam i never thought you would ask.  
Ohh shut up both of you and what do you say Harry should we get one.  
isn´t there a rule there say you can´t before a matter of time or something.  
I don´t know i never thought i would get one to me i always thought when married that´s it.  
Even if you arn´t happy.  
You see i want a happy marriage not a bad one i mean if you know the relationship isn´t good then you get out but never thought that about marriage.  
Woo you really thought this through haven´t you.  
Kind of yeah but if you want one we can i´m not the type of lad who make anyone do something they won´t do.  
Look Louis yesterday you said sorry but today i do sorry i never wanted to do something like this to anyone.  
Why are you sorry Haz it was Lou´s idea to begine with, Niall said.  
What i asked Harry to married me.  
Yeah you did something about you to being young and have fun.  
Holy shit that´s right i remember now i wanted to kiss you so badly but you didn´t wanted to.  
Damn it Louis damn it this is not good.  
I have an idea why don´t we just enjoy the rest of the trip and then we find out when we get back, Louis suggested.  
Yeah good idea i´m in, i said.

Even though Louis said we shut wait till we got back and don´t think about it, i can´t stop think about it i mean how can i not i´m 19 god damn years old and now i´m married in a drunk stupid mistake.  
Now i´m not even Harry Styles anymore now i´m Harry Tomlinson i mean what the hell.

I though about it the rest of the trip and if that wasen´t good enough Louis also know my secret the one i swore no one would ever know about, it´s not like i sew myself everyday it more like 1 once at week.

When we got back i didn´t really talk much i didn´t know what to say, it´s been like that for to weeks now, Louis haven´t said anything either maybe because he´s a bit like me when it comes to it what and how do i say this.  
It´s not that i want to hurt him at all i actually don´t think we want to hurt eachother but i don´t think i want to stay married i mean we don´t love one another or i think we don´t well i can´t speak for him but i´m sure i´m not in love with him.  
Harry, Louis said as he came in.  
Yeah.  
Do you want to stay married or should we get it over with.  
I´m not sure to be honest i´m a bit confused.  
What are you confused about.  
Be honest with me now okay do you have any kind of feelings for me.  
Yes i do i´m falling for you a bit everyday what about you.  
I have never been in love before.  
Never.  
No so i´m not sure how i feel.  
Well be in love is a bit like you can´t stop smile when you see him/her, you have butterfiles in your stomach.  
Okay well seens i don´t really smile and i can´t feel butterfiles.  
What happen to you except for what your farther did.  
I just shut down never allow myself to feel again it wasen´t like i was in love with the guy i kissed that one time.  
Do you want to try to date.  
Well we are married so i guess.  
Screw the marriage okay if i asked you out would you say yes.  
I´m so not sure about anything right now but i really don´t want to hurt anyone but myself when it comes to it, especially not Louis he´s way to kind and have such a big heart i can´t do that to him.  
Yes i´ll go out with you.  
great tomorrow it´s friday so tomorrow at 7.  
Yeah that fine.  
Super okay i´ll leave you alone i know you don´t really want company, Louis says as he walked out.

It´s been a few weeks now and Louis and i have been on 4 dates so far, i still don´t allowing myself to feel mostly because i can´t remember how, Louis seems to be okay with it he knows it´s takes time, he also seems to be okay with we are taking it slow.  
I´m just not sure if i´m okay if it gets him hurt because of me i don´t want to break his heart in anyway.

We just got of for today and i went home and into the livingroom to get something before i went into mine and Louis´s room.  
Harry.  
Yes Louis.  
What i am about to say is pretty big and no don´t say it if your not ready okay.  
Okay what is it.  
I love you.  
Wow that´s wow.  
Don´t say it if your not ready but i am and i want you to be to.  
Louis what if i never get ready what then.  
Then i´ll wait till you do i love you and no rush trust me when you feel it you know.  
How are you so cool about this i mean what if you wait like 40 years.  
I´ll still wait because not waking up to see your beautiful face every morning is something i don´t want to do darline.  
I just nodded i have no idea what to say or tell him at this point.

It´s been a year now and we are on our last year at college and i still haven´t told Louis the 3 words, Niall and Liam began to date and only few months later they told eachother they love eacother, why the hell is it i can´t tell Louis we are still married and he has told i don´t know how many time how much he love´s and adore me, i hate i can´t say it.  
I also still don´t know how to feel it´s like my heart is dead or something i´m so sick of it that i don´t feel, it like i´m a shadow of myself.  
I´m not even sure if he told his parents about what happen in vegas last year.

I walk into Niall and Liam´s room to talk to Liam maybe he can help me or something.  
Liam.  
Yeah Harry what can i do you for.  
Help me.  
Sit down and talk to me.  
I did i sat on his bed with him.  
How did you know you love Niall.  
Well i can´t stop smile he makes me happy inside and out he makes me feel like no one else has ever done.  
What feeling is that.  
Loved of course he makes me feel loved and if you asked him he would tell you the same thing.  
Okay i´m just not sure how i feel.  
Okay well what is the last thing you want to do.  
Break his heart i would never do that but it been a year now and i´m still not close enough.  
Harry that is love you feel.  
What.  
Yeah you don´t want to break his heart that is love how long have you been feeling that.  
Pretty much seens vegas.  
Harry your in love with him and have been for quite a while.  
Then why don´t i feel it.  
I can´t answer that for you Harry all i can say is look inside yourself.  
Okay i´ll try thanks.  
No problem, he smile.

i went into my and Louis´s room again to think about what Liam said.  
which i did and i spend to much time tinking maybe if i just do i can feel and allow myself to feel.  
i walked into the livingroom where Louis and Niall are playing games on louis´s xbox.  
Louis.  
Yes darling.  
Kiss me.  
For real no shit.  
No shit please kiss me.  
He sat the game on pause and almost ran over to kiss me.  
What a kiss it was he really kissed me and i kissed him back.  
How was it darling.  
Really good.  
I´m glad you like it.  
Louis you have told me over and over how much you love and adore me.  
Because i do and as i said i can wait till your ready to tell me.  
I....I..lov....lov...i lov....i love y... i love you.  
Harry did you just.  
Yeah i did i love you.  
I love you to i just can´t believe your ready to say it.  
Me either but i am.  
Darling how did you found out, Louis smile so sweet at me.  
I looked inside and i never wanted to break your heart.  
Break my heart.  
Yeah what happen in vegas i never wanted to.  
Haz love you know that´s love.  
Now i do but it isn´t just that your a very special person you never looked at me wrond after what you saw in vegas.  
Because it´s you Haz i just don´t want you to hurt yourself but now i know you won´t.  
As i told you i do it to tell myself never to go back there no matter what they are dead to me like i am dead to them.  
Have you ever thought about stop it.  
Once yeah but i don´t think i´ll ever stop.  
Not even for me darling.  
I´m not sure.  
Think about it.  
Louis please don´t try to change me okay it part of who i am and remember that´s the guy you fall for.  
Your right never mind.  
Good, i smiled.  
Do you want to meet my parents.  
Wow i ohm wow maybe when we´ll be officially.  
Ohh i thought we were now.  
Are we.  
I´ll like to think we are darling.  
Okay then i guess we are babe.  
Good because i want them to meet my husband.  
Can´t it wait till we are done with college it that way we can get use to the fact we are married.  
Yeah good idea i agree love.  
Good babe.

4 years later.  
When we graduated college i meet Louis parents and they welcomed me into the family and yes they did see the marks on my throat but didn´t say anything.

Louis and i moved into our own apartment but that wasen´t till Louis got the job he wanted, he got hired as a player at his all time favorite football team and i couldn´t be more happy for him.

The same with him for me when i began to work for london newspaper which resulted in me to come out with my own book called" How To Survive A Strangle" my own story with a few changes of names.

I also stopped stitche myself i found out i don´t have a reason anymore, i have a lovely husband who love´s me so much and i love really much.

After we moved from the apartment to a nice house to years later we adopted twins a boy we named Sky and a girl we named Stella and we love them so much.

The 4 of us are really a family i never thought i would want all this but now that i have it i will never ever do anything to change it, Louis and i have been parents for 2 years now and it´s the best ever.

Ohh right i also forgot a year ago Louis and i got married again but this time we were sober and the kids were in the wedding Stella was the flower girl and she looked so beautiful in her dress, Sky was Louis´s best man i can truly say it was one of the best days of our lifes.

My husband gave me life again made me feel and made my heart beat for him only.


End file.
